[CHRISTINA CASTAGNINI] Behind The Bite podcast is part of a network of podcasts that are good for the world. Check out podcasts like the Full of Shift podcast, After the First Marriage podcast and Eating Recovery Academy over at practiceofthepractice.com/network. Welcome to Behind The Bite podcast. This podcast is about the real life struggles women face with food, body image and weight. We're here to help you inspire and create better healthier lives. Welcome. . Hello everyone. I love when I have guests on here who are willing to share their stories with us, especially when they can help break the myth that eating disorders are something you have to struggle with for the rest of your life. Because I do hear that so often, that you always kind of struggle at least a little bit. People say that to me all the time when they first come to see me. I hear, "Hey, look, doc. I know that I will always still have to deal with this to some degree, but ..." as if this is a foregone conclusion. So coming in having that as a belief has a lot of power. They're starting things off already limiting themselves and their ability to achieve a life free from their struggles. So me just telling someone at that point that what they're truly believing is not true is not going to do much. They themselves have to stop believing that this myth is true. They have to do it on their own, have to start having hope that recovery is possible and possible for them. So how to do this? It's it's hard. Well, the more you can hear stories from real people and not just be told it or come across a post or an article mentioning it, my hope is that you will no longer believe in this myth. It's true because if you believe it, it makes it true and what you tell yourself is your truth. So I don't care how many guests I have to have on here to share their stories, to help dispel the myth, because my hope is that each and every story you hear on here helps you to be one step closer to believing that you two can achieve your own recovery. So in line with that, I just so happen to have a guest on here today who is going to share her story and talk to us about her own journey with her eating disorder. Sloane Elizabeth is a holistic wellness coach and food freedom expert specialized in helping women to stop dieting, obsessing, restricting, and stressing over food so that they can experience food freedom. She uses a unique and powerful combination of science and spirituality to help her clients. She helps them to eat with love and intuition. Sloane is also a published author and has been featured on Food Network and Authority Magazine. All right, Sloane, welcome to the show. [SLOANE ELIZABETH] Thank you so much, Christina. I'm so glad that we're doing this and I'm just grateful to be on the show. Thank you for having me. [CHRISTINA] Well, likewise, I'm so glad you're here. I always love when I have people on who can share their stories and really inspire people. So with that, people who don't know you, who are listening, would you mind sharing a little about your background, like who you are and just give us some sense of who is this Sloane person? [SLOANE] Of course. So my name is Sloane Elizabeth. You can also find me on Instagram there, and I'm a food freedom expert and holistic wellness coach. I really specialize in blending science with spirituality to help my clients and my audience, eat with love and intuition and then ultimately live with love and intuition. So that's what I do right now and yes, my own personal journey kind of got me to this place. But right now I really focus on coaching. I live in New York city. I actually just moved here. I'm from California. So first winter is about to go down, pretty nervous and so, yes, that's mainly what I do. I also am a published author. So I wrote a book when I was in college for students who wanted to kind of take their health into their own hands, because I always heard that college was going to be the most fun four years of your life, but it was going to be really unhealthy and as a freshman at 15, et cetera, et cetera. So I wrote a book to help students kind of take their health into their own hands without dieting, because of course eating disorders can really just be exacerbated and really just extreme in college. And I saw that a lot at my university as well, in Greek life and just social media, it's kind of not the best recipe for success. Then I'm also a yoga teacher, so a lot of different things going on. [CHRISTINA] Awesome. Well, so let's start actually with your relationship with food and body, because obviously you've landed where you are now, like you said. So did you start to have struggles with food in your body way before college and all of that? Like what was your trajectory to getting to here? [SLOANE] Yes. So I did and it was kind of something that I never thought I would experience just because I was really confident growing up and I was always in performing arts and I was comfortable being on stage and in costumes and I never really thought about my body. And I was really active and no foods were restricted by my parents. Everything was pretty normal. Then I went through puberty pretty late. So I started noticing that my body was changing and I thought that there was something wrong with me because it was later than age 13 when I thought everything was supposed to happen. So I just kind of thought as like a 16, 17 year old that my body was just going to stay as like this very kind of boyish, no curves figure, which was obviously not the case. My body did not look woman at all, but I just thought that that's where I was going to be because I thought I already went through puberty. But then my body started changing. I gained some weight, I started becoming a little bit curvier and I just freaked out. I was so uncomfortable almost overnight, it felt like. I've always been like a perfectionist also and so control was the thing that really stuck for me. I felt out of control in my body and I thought, okay, well I can control this. I can control my food and I can get this under control. So I also was really into science and math. So I thought that I could approach it from a scientific lens, but Googling things just led to diet culture. So it was not actually scientific, but I just implemented all of these arbitrary food rules and I just created this entire diet world for myself. It wasn't one particular diet. It was just a million tiny little things that I don't know where I came up with them. But it was kind of strange things like, yes, I was scared of bread and such, but I also learned that green tea can help you like speed up your metabolism and burn calories. So I would like force myself to drink like multiple cups of green tea, very kind of niche, random things like that that made me feel like I was doing "the right thing." Obviously, it was not loving or intuitive at all. It was really not fun. So I just felt of course, and more out of control than I had before. I also was exercising more. I was trying to do like two workouts in a day and it was just not enjoyable whatsoever and my body wasn't even responding the way that I wanted it to. So I felt like, yes, I was failing even more. Then went to college a couple years later and I really had a lot of awareness. I've always been quite self-aware. So I knew that what I was doing wasn't helpful. It wasn't loving. It wasn't kind and it wasn't sustainable if I wanted to make new friends. Like I went to university that I didn't know anyone. I wasn't really going with any friends. I was leaving the state of California. So I knew that I was going to have to make a shift. So I started really with the science piece of learning a little bit more, actually a lot more about biology and nutrition and what was actually true about food and what's actually true about metabolism and calories in, calories out, like how does it actually work? So that helped me feel really grounded in the real science of it and starting to bust a lot of those diet culture myths. Then I started getting really into spirituality and manifestation and I found Gabby Bernstein and all these people on Instagram talking about your relationship with the universe and that just made so much sense to me on so many levels. I learned how to release control and tap into my intuition kind of in general, and then how to use that way the food in not only co-creating and manifesting with the universe, but co-creating with my body and surrendering to the universe and surrendering to my body. So that helped me to be not so controlling, not so perfectionist and actually start trusting. So through this healing per process, after I was kind of reflecting and felt pretty much fully like myself again, I realized that, like the two blending together, the science and the spirituality were what really made it work for me and I hadn't seen that in many other places. So that was what inspired me then to take my health coaching business more into this realm of food freedom and eating intuitively. So that was a long story, but that was the journey. [CHRISTINA] So interesting because as you were talking about all this and I'm just imagining you in high school, like going on to Google and trying to find some way to try to con like you said, your body felt very out of control. And I think probably a lot of people listening can relate to that, just been like grasping at straws, like just give me a solution, just help me find something. And there's so much junk out there. There's so many mixed messages or many quick fixes or so many, like you said, you grasp onto to like green tea, which is such junk. But everybody latches onto these things and as me as a professional, I hear these same kinds of things over and over. It's almost like the game of telephone, one person says it and then everybody hears it and it's like it's gospel and it's the truth and it's not. But everyone tries kind of the same things. Like I've heard so many times carbs are bad. I don't eat bread or it's like, and I was wondering when did that start? Because when I was younger, bread was king, like you eat carbs. So I think it goes through cycles of what's put out there as not okay, or you need to do this or you need to do that. And it gets put in your mind as like a rule. So I'm just imagining you Googling and trying to make up this set of rules for yourself about, okay, this is how I'm going to get control and this is how I'm going to live my life. I'm wondering, did you ever get a message from parents or anybody that, hey, this is what happens to your body. This is what's normal. This is what you go through and not thinking like this is out of control, but this is actually what is supposed to happen. [SLOANE] Yes, not really. And I feel like I received that when I was like 13, like, okay, you're going to get your period and your body's going to change, but that's kind of where it stopped. And even with like hormones and our cycles, I think that there is such a huge gaping hole of education and knowledge that needs to shared. Like I try to cycle think now, and it's amazing and it's so empowering and I know why I'm feeling a certain way. It just makes so much sense and I feel like before I did that, even with like my mood, I would feel out of control. Like why am I feeling more emotional and kind of tired? Then I would get my period and be like, oh, it makes so much sense. So I think that in terms of nutrition, our bodies, our metabolism, our hormones, there's so much truth that just isn't properly conveyed. Then all of the myths and the shiny objects kind of infiltrate and take over. And it's such a shame because as you said, it's like the quick fixes and maybe it's sexier, it's more attractive to just think that you can do this one thing and lose those last five pounds in five days. And I don't know, I hope, and I genuinely think that we are moving more towards body acceptance and this way of eating intuitively and busting all the myths, but that also could be just me filling my Instagram feed and my community with those messages. So I hope that there's a transition being made, but I think it's going to take a long time. [CHRISTINA] Because I'm just thinking, when I was a teenager there wasn't social media. The internet didn't exist. There wasn't all of that so you had a very different experience going through this. Just curious, like you have your Instagram where you're putting out the messages that are about body positivity or body acceptance and intuitive eating and all of that. Did you come across any of that at all when you were Googling or was it mostly just quick fixes and diet culture and hard and fast rules and do this, don't do that? Was it more like that? Was there anything at all out there that just normalized, like the experience of going through puberty and what's normal and that there's diversity and acceptance? Or is it just diet culture? [SLOANE] Yes, I mean, I didn't see it but I also, maybe wasn't looking for it. So really for me, I would say it was more of like the orthorexia trend of wanting to just be as healthy as possible. So based on what I was seeing from all of these recipes, developers, and influencers, I was seeing a lot of paleo. I was seeing a lot of gluten free and I was seeing a lot of sugar free and use this instead of that. So that's just what I saw. So I never fully cut out any food groups I would say, but it was just trying to drastically limit the carbs and the sugar and probably portions a little bit. Thankfully I never calorie counted. I would like loosely go over kind of what I ate for the day in my head, which was beyond exhausting. And that's what I year actually from most women, that's like the number one thing that's been popping up a lot. It's just obsessively thinking about it, whether that's counting calories or tracking macros or just the guilt. It's just like always there. So that was my experience too. So from the accounts I was looking at, I don't think that any of them were trying necessarily to promote diet culture. And they weren't saying go on a diet. It was just that for me, someone that was looking for control, I took it too far. So that's actually kind of this fine balance that I've tried to find with my community and my content as well with gentle nutrition, because I personally do feel better eating mostly whole foods. I eat fried foods too. I eat sugar, but I do feel better when I'm majority of the time not going to give that a percentage. I don't like the 80 20 rule, but I care of about nutrition. But that's not to say that I don't also eat the other stuff. So it's just hard to convey that to everyone and I don't like doing what I eat in a day videos. I think those are really toxic. So social media's just a really hard place. I do my best to show like realistic living and show things that are really loving and intuitive and healing. But at the same time, anyone can see anything and make it what they want it to be, which I think is really tricky as a consumer and as a creator. [CHRISTINA] Well, that's well said. I think because people are looking, I know I did this, I looked to somebody, anybody's like, what are they doing? What are they doing? I'm just going to mimic what they're doing. Just give me the answer. Give me the magic solution. I was looking so desperately for it. I don't know if you did that too, but I can see how people may be looking at your Instagram or somebody else's could just go, okay, that's the key, that's the final thing. Just tell me exactly what you eat in a day or tell me exactly the ratios or this or that. That's so rule based and so eating disordered. It's not about that at all. It's really a variety of things and every single person is so different and has different needs and tastes and wants and their body, all of our bodies process things so differently too on a day to day basis. So I don't know if you have a message for anyone listening, but I always kind of promote like there is no magic book. There's no magic solution. [SLOANE] No, definitely. And I find that so many people really crave structure and they want rules. They want guidelines. Even my clients will be like, okay, I still need like some sort of structure, but the structure can still be there in more of your intention. So that's why I've kind of built out this method of eating with love and intuition there's. Structure there. It's eating with love for your physical body, eating with love, for your mental health and eating with love for your soul and your emotions. Then your intuition is what helps you decide what to eat when, how much it, cetera. So there's a structure. Then also eating most of the time, three square meals with snacks, that is a structure. It's not going to be this many calories, this many macros that's getting too obsessive, but there is still structure there. So my whole thing is I love routines too. I love lists. I still am a rule follower just generally in life. So finding the structure that makes you feel safe within this freedom and this realm of flexibility is something that's hard if you're so used to the rigidity, but I think that's really where the magic comes from. That's where you feel the most empowered to make your individual choices. So I agree there's not one magic bullet, but if the idea of like full total food, freedom, no rules, no restriction feels too scary, then I think it's totally valid and beautiful to think about where there is still structure in a loving way. That's not restrictive at all, but it still gives you something to hold onto instead of feeling like you're just going to be swept away and feel totally out of control and lose sight of anything that has to do with nutrition. I think that that can actually be taking it too far. [CHRISTINA] So I can just imagine everyone listening might be saying, okay, so I need rules. I need structure. I need boundaries. So because if you just tell me fine, get with a bend, and I hear this all the time, like I don't trust myself around certain things. There's no way I can possibly have X food around me. I don't trust myself. There's no way. How do you work with clients who say things like that, I can't trust myself around this food or there's, it's, no, no food. I'll just eat all of it. [SLOANE] I've seen that too and it's the avoidance like, oh, if I just don't buy the ice cream, then and I won't binge on it, but you'll find a way, you're going to do it anyway. So really the way that I do things is first through like subconscious healing and then conscious, and then the actual action. So I would not say, oh, just go ahead and buy the ice cream and experiment. That's going to feel so wild and scary. So first I would want to know where did this story come from that now feels so true to you that said, I can't trust my body? Where did that even come from? So that's what I want to know first. And what does that mean that you can't rest your body? What are you scared is going to happen? The other thing is with that particular food. Why is that particular food hard but apples are fine for you? What is so special about the ice cream, let's say? Then we want a neutral realize that ice cream, help you realize that it's really not that special because when it's special, then you're in the presence of ice cream. It feels like you got to take advantage go home all or nothing, the black and white, because it's a special occasion. You don't know the next time you're going to have ice cream or allow yourself to have it in the house so you got to take advantage of it. So making it neutral. What if it wasn't special? But if it was just this sweet thing where cream and sugar and other flavors are combined and you keep it in the freezer and it was something that you liked? What if it was really just that neutral? So that's of more of the subconscious and then the conscious of like releasing the labels of like this is a bad food. This is a junk food. Looking at how you talk about food and how you talk about yourself. So I use a lot of affirmations with my clients, making them remember that they do have trust and that there's nothing wrong with them and that they actually can get to a place of trusting their bodies and having the ice cream in the house. I love starting affirmations with is it safe to, so maybe it is safe for me to have of ice cream in the house. Like nothing bad it's going to happen. It's okay. You can take a breath. It feels so good. Then once you're ready, we experiment with the action, like, okay, what would it feel like to buy the regular, non diet gross like coke, frozen dessert, pint, whatever? How would that feel to buy that ice cream? Then how would it feel to put it away and how would it feel to enjoy a scoop, put it in a bowl, put the pint away, leave the kitchen and sit and enjoy that? So that's kind of the three steps that I go through; the subconscious more around the issues with trust, with control, self-worth, the deeper stuff that it's really about when it's not really about food and then the consciousness, the labels, the words, the thoughts, and then taking that into action. Because sometimes I think a lot of times actually we don't get past the fear until we face it. And you know you or I could tell anyone listening ice cream isn't going to kill you and you can have ice cream in the house, but they're not going to fully believe it until they experiment and do it and have that proof and say, "Oh yes, I could do it. Wasn't just them talking or it wasn't other women or client testimonials. It was actually who did it and I can do it again." [CHRISTINA] So I'm wondering, did you go through that process, too, with your own foods and struggling with getting rid of labels and ideas about food yourself? Was that the process you went through? [SLOANE] Totally. And I would say sugar was a really big one and I hear this a lot for other people too. I do have a sweet tooth and I actually love my sweet tooth now. So many people DM me asking, "How can I get rid of my cravings? How can I get rid of my sweet tooth?" That's not exactly the right question to be asking. So yes, for dessert, I created this rule that I could only have dessert twice a week. And I do not think that I ever actually succeeded in that because something would come up on Monday and I would want the dessert then I'm like, well, shit, I only have one more out of the next six days. Of course, it never worked. So it was really about like why sugar was the worst thing? Where did that come from? And as I mentioned, for me, it was mostly control. So it had nothing to do with the dessert. It had everything to do with perfection and control and just trying to be as ideal as possible. So once I really actually uncovered that, it was so much easier to get rid of the guilt and the labels around the dessert because at the end of the day really wasn't about that. Then I was able to eat more of it and not binge and not restrict, not look at the labels, buy the regular ice cream instead of the gross stuff and just sit with it and just accept it. So I really feel like that first chunk is where a lot of people try to like tiptoe around it. They try to skip the deeper work because it's scary sometimes to be willing to go there and uncover what's going to come up when I do this deep healing. But that's really the biggest chunk. Then it makes taking the action so much easier. And that's why I tell all of my clients, the goal is aligned action. Not just any action, but like action that's really aligned for you and that feels as easy as possible and actually aligned with your school and guided by your intuition in the universe. I believe that it can actually be easy to heal or easier than we make it and doing some of that deeper inner mindset and subconscious belief work first can kind of help that later step of doing it and actually conquering the fear in the feeding world. [CHRISTINA] Well said, because I think a lot of people do tell themselves these rules, like I can't ever, or that's never going to happen for me. And those beliefs are so powerful. [SLOANE] So powerful. I mean, fear is so much more powerful than love in our heads. But in reality I believe that love is so much more powerful than fear if we allow love a chance. I was talking to a bunch of my clients about this and my group program, how when we share wins, when we celebrate so often we'll discount the wins and say, oh, this is just a small one, but I did this or I don't really have any new wins. But if I ask what you're anxious about, you'll tell me the same thing a bunch of times. So we repeat the fears, we repeat the anxiety, but then it feels weird to repeat the wins or to keep celebrating the wins. I think it's because fear is just more threatening and it has more to do with survival, like in our old brain, like if there's fear, it used to be that you were having to fight or flee and if there was something good that happened like, okay, awesome, but whatever. So the wins and the love just, I don't like our brains just aren't programmed. I don't think to give them as much power. But if you can become aware of that and you become aware of all of these ideas, like I can't do that or I'll never be able to do that and take the power back then you can absolutely make those shifts for sure. [CHRISTINA] So I'm just curious when, if somebody were to talk to you and say, what do you mean by love, like that concept of coming from a place of love, because I think a lot of times there's either a disconnect people have with themselves, or maybe there's even like a lot of self hatred or dislike for themselves, how do you get them to a place of loving themselves or being motivated by love? [SLOANE] Totally. I think that those are kind of separate, like having the intention to come from a place of love and a heart centered place and then the self love. I think that sometimes the self love, if you're coming from a place of self hatred or a lot of shame and guilt seems like too far of a stretch. So I think that those people can still choose to come from a place of love. And what that means for me is like, I really believe that almost everything can be categorized into either love or fear. So it's choosing the opposite of what you've been doing, perhaps. So if it's fear, like the fearful choice is counting calories, the loving choice is maybe deciding to get help or having the intention to worry on it, that's a loving intention. It doesn't have to be cold Turkey and stopping with counting calories that might not feel possible. So if it doesn't feel possible to act from a place of love, either try something really small, something that you would do for a friend that you loved. Like how would you treat that person and can you practice out with yourself or neutrality is always a good in between step as well. And that's kind of where we go for self love and body acceptance and body confidence. It's like you don't have to be obsessed and in love with your pinky toe, but can you allow it to be neutral? Can it just be a pinky toe? It doesn't have to be any other adjective besides existing as your right pinky toe in this version of itself right now in this present moment. It can be as neutral as that. So then if you accept it for being neutral then maybe can you be appreciative of its existence? Like I'm appreciative that this toe exists and I honor its existence. Then maybe you can be grateful for it. And gratitude is absolutely an energy of love, even if you're not totally obsessed and in love with its appearance. So neutrality is a really great place to step towards if full love feels unattainable or just a big maybe step towards love. Something that is more loving than what you've been doing counts. Something that you might do for a friend counts. Something that makes you feel good at the end of the day. Like, what does your body need? What will make your body feel good? What will make your heart feel good? What will you happy even if it's 1% better? Then that still counts. [CHRISTINA] Awesome. So I know you've shared so much and such great philosophy. So if people want to work with you or they want to find you or gain more insight from all you have out there, how can and they find you? [SLOANE] Totally. So I do work with women from around the world, which is beautiful part of the internet. So I'm happy to chat with anyone who is looking for more support and is ready to heal. Instagram is really great place to come and check out content and connect. I'm really active on DMs. The account is @Sloane Elizabeth. Then I'll share a link for a free workshop that's all about how to shop obsessively thinking about food 24/7 so that you can finally eat with peace and ease. It's about 90 minutes. It's super jam-packed. You're going to want a notebook and a pen. So you can check out that if you want more information and then if you're ready to have a consultation and just kind of explore if this would even be a great option for you, then I have a really quick application form that you can fill out. The link for that is in my bio and I can also share that link with you. [CHRISTINA] Fantastic. So anyone listening, don't worry, we'll have all of those links and information in the show notes on the website. So make sure to go there after the show. Thank you so much Sloane for all this information. Do you have any last words for anyone listening today before we end? [SLOANE] No. Thank you, Christina. I loved this time. One of my favorite affirmations that really encompasses all of this is recognizing that you've chosen fear and choosing love instead. This comes from Gabby Bernstein, who was my introduction to the universe and my relationship with the universe and releasing control. So basically it goes I recognize I've chosen fear. I choose again, and I choose love. So that really shows you that you've never messed up too much. You've never failed. There's always a chance to choose again, and it's up to you to choose again in each moment. And it's a practice to choose love again, instead of fear. And awareness is the first key. So recognizing that you've chosen fear, choosing again and choosing love is a really great three step process to start with. So that's what I'd love to share with everyone and I hope it resonates at least one person out there. [CHRISTINA] Awesome. Well, thank you again and great information for everybody. Thank you. [SLOANE] Thank you. Bye everybody. [CHRISTINA] This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regards to the subject matter covered. It is given with the understanding that neither the host, the publisher or the guests are rendering legal, accounting, clinical, or any other professional information. If you want a professional, you should find one.