If January feels heavy — not motivating, not inspiring, not like a fresh start — this episode is for you.

In this solo episode, I explore why so many people are quietly opting out of New Year’s resolutions and resonating with the idea of a “Soft January.” Not because they don’t care about growth — but because years of trying to do things the “right” way have left them feeling like failures when those plans inevitably didn’t stick.

We talk about how January pressure mirrors diet culture, perfectionism, and people-pleasing — especially for those who’ve spent years believing they weren’t disciplined or consistent enough. I unpack why the problem was never you, but the systems that set you up to internalize failure.

This episode isn’t anti-goals or anti-change. It’s about separating growth from self-worth — and learning how “good enough” can be a powerful corrective experience.

If you’ve ever walked away from a resolution, a reset, or a new start feeling like you were the failure, this episode is for you.

Dr. Cristina Castagnini is a licensed psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist (CEDS). She shares her insights on her podcast, Behind the Bite, from her lived experience of her own eating disorder as well as over 25 years of clinical experience. She currently helps people overcome their own struggles in her thriving practice, Freedom to Wellness Counseling, in Northern California.

KEY TOPICS DISCUSSED:

  • The meaning behind the "Soft January" trend and why it’s gaining traction.
  • Why high-functioning perfectionists are most at risk for the "New Year's Crash."
  • The difference between feeling "inspired" versus feeling "evaluated" by your goals.
  • How to identify "Conditional Worth" and stop tying your value to your output.
  • Why "good enough" is actually a healthier, more sustainable form of discipline.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

  • Soft January: Dr. Castagnini reframes this trend not as laziness, but as wisdom born from experience—a refusal to start the year feeling already behind.
  • System vs. Self: The discussion highlights that when diets or rigid routines fail, it is usually because the system was unsustainable, yet we internalize it as a personal lack of discipline.
  • Nervous System Safety: When self-improvement feels like a test, the nervous system shifts from a state of growth to a state of defense or shutdown.
  • Conditional Worth: The damaging belief that your value as a human being fluctuates based on your ability to adhere to a plan or achieve a goal.

IMPORTANT TIMECODES FROM THIS EPISODE:

  • [00:00] The Fear of Failure and Conditional Worth
  • [01:28] Introduction to the "Soft January" Trend
  • [04:01] The Weight of Resolutions and the Emotional Crash
  • [06:21] Addressing Perfectionists and People-Pleasers
  • [07:03] The Parallel Between Resolutions and Diet Culture
  • [09:38] The "New Notebook" Fallacy and Self-Sabotage
  • [11:10] Why We Are Really Afraid of Failing
  • [12:54] Redefining What "Good Enough" Means
  • [13:51] Soft January as Relief, Not Laziness

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!

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Until next time, remember, we're here to break down barriers, challenge stigma, and support each other on the path to a better life.

Part of the Los Angeles Tribune Podcast Network, produced by the Tweaky Tales.

**Disclaimer:**

The content of this podcast episode is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views and experiences shared by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or affiliated organizations. If you have any medical or mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare provider. Listener discretion is advised, especially for those sensitive to topics related to body image, weight stigma, and eating disorders.