What happens when your child is battling a serious, potentially life-threatening illness, but instead of being empowered to help, you are told to stand back, stay quiet, and stay out of the way? In this deeply compassionate episode of Behind the Bite, Dr. Cristina Castagnini is joined by Cherie Monarch and Nancy Clarkson, two incredible advocates and mothers who lived through the terrifying reality of navigating their daughters' eating disorders in an era of intense parental blame. Together, they discuss the immense fear, isolation, and guilt that caregivers face, and they shed light on "Mom2Mom"—an online support community they lead to educate and arm mothers with the resources they so desperately need. Reframing eating disorders as serious, brain-based biological illnesses rather than behavioral choices, Cherie and Nancy explain why recovery often requires counterintuitive decisions, why prioritizing long-term wellness over short-term happiness is vital, and how families can access a network of support to ensure they never have to walk this road alone. Cherie Monarch is a passionate and dedicated champion for families and eating disorder awareness, driven by personal journey supporting a loved one. A board member of the National Alliance for Eating Disorders, she’s chaired many eating disorder events and pioneered national campaigns. Cherie co- founded the Eating Disorder Family Support Network and Mom2Mom, and spearheaded a movement to educate healthcare providers across the US and Canada. Cherie’s work earned her the 2017 National Mom Making a Difference Award. Cherie spoke on mental health parity at a 2014 US Congressional briefing. Cherie uses her voice—through support groups and writings—to offer loved ones compassion and guidance on their journey.  

Nancy Clarkson has been part of the eating disorder community for more than 20 years, drawing from both personal experience and years of supporting other families. Recognizing the need for connection and guidance in her local community, she founded an in-person support group in 2017 and facilitated that group for nine years. Today, Nancy serves as a co-admin of the Mom2Mom Facebook support community alongside Cherie Monarch, where she helps create a safe, compassionate space for mothers and female caregivers supporting loved ones with eating disorders. She is deeply committed to ensuring that families never have to face this journey alone. Nancy understands firsthand how isolating and overwhelming eating disorders can be, and she is passionate about providing hope, education, and a supportive community for caregivers as they navigate the path toward recovery.

KEY TOPICS DISCUSSED:

  • How to navigate the painful history of parental blame in eating disorder treatment and trust your parental instincts.
  • The crucial difference between keeping a loved one "happy" versus keeping them "well" during active recovery.
  • Why eating disorders are not geographic, and how major transitions like going away to college can trigger severe decompensation.
  • The power of the "open-heart surgery analogy" in setting firm boundaries and providing active scaffolding for a recovering child.
  • How the Mom2Mom community and the National Alliance for Eating Disorders provide lifesaving, cost-free support and clinical resources to families.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

  • Parental Blame vs. Active Scaffolding: Historically, parents—especially mothers—were told to stand back and were blamed for their child’s eating disorder.
  • Cherie and Nancy advocate for "scaffolding," treating the disorder as a serious medical condition where families actively participate in nourishment and boundaries, similar to post-cardiac surgery care.
  • Wellness vs. Happiness: A primary trap for caregivers is trying to keep their child happy in the short term. However, when an eating disorder is active, making the child "happy" often means accommodating the illness
  • True happiness is a byproduct of full wellness, which requires pushing through the resistance of treatment.
  • The Myth of Geographic Cures: Sending a child off to college hoping the change of scenery will cure their eating disorder is a common, dangerous mistake. Eating disorders travel with the individual, and the stressors of transitioning to independent life can trigger rapid decompensation.
  • Nutritional Rehabilitation as the Foundation: Nutritional rehabilitation is the absolute first step in recovery. Without a properly nourished brain and body, psychological healing and therapy cannot fully take hold, meaning physical weight restoration must precede or run concurrently with deeper behavioral work.

IMPORTANT TIMECODES FROM THIS EPISODE:

  • Introduction to the isolation and blame that families historically faced in eating disorder recovery.
  • What is the Mom2Mom community and why was it founded in 2018?
  • The historical and ongoing impact of parental blame in eating disorder diagnoses.
  • Cherie's open-heart surgery analogy and the power of family scaffolding in clinical care.
  • Prioritizing wellness over short-term happiness to foster true recovery.
  • Nancy's personal story of navigating her daughter’s illness in 2000.
  • Releasing guilt, letting go of the "woulda, shoulda, coulda," and learning from past mistakes.
  • Why eating disorders are not geographic: The hidden dangers of sending a struggling teen to college.
  • What resources and topics are covered in the 50+ Mom2Mom guides?
  • The danger of letting off the gas too early after weight restoration.
  • Connecting with the National Alliance for Eating Disorders and accessing daily support groups.
  • San Francisco "Not One More" Rally for Recovery and Southern Smash events.

CONNECT WITH CHERIE AND NANCY:

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Until next time, remember, we're here to break down barriers, challenge stigma, and support each other on the path to a better life.

Part of the Los Angeles Tribune Podcast Network, produced by the Tweaky Tales.

**Disclaimer:**

The content of this podcast episode is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views and experiences shared by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or affiliated organizations. If you have any medical or mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare provider. Listener discretion is advised, especially for those sensitive to topics related to body image, weight stigma, and eating disorders.